20 Sarcastic Zen Thoughts

Wisdom can come from almost any source - a moment of meditation, the lyrics of your favorite song, or even a pithy saying from that stranger in the elevator that just makes sense. If you're like me, you're the one spouting those little one-liners daily, just hoping something sticks.

When it comes to gaining a deeper understanding of life and its mysteries, there are countless self-help books, TED talks, and even those maxims your family saves just for you (usually shared around a festive holiday meal with guests). Perhaps you're an "old soul," and finding Zen-like focus is simple for you to achieve and pass on. On the other hand, maybe you need a little shove from the universe to deal with life's curveballs and craziness.

Whatever the case, it is often true that taking a step back and looking for a way to laugh is the best path to that happy inner place of peace. Sometimes, you just have to find the humor in a situation, and, once you do, it's as if the answer presents itself out of nowhere! We've put together a few thoughts that might help you giggle and get on with the focus you need, or maybe will help you make someone else's day.

1. "Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone."


2. "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire."


3. "It’s always darkest before dawn. So, if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it."

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4. "Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else."

National Geographic

5. "Never test the depth of the water with both feet."

Keith Galik

6. "If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments."

Money Crashers


7. "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes."

Tim Hunt

8. "If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you."


9. "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will hang out on the boat all day ignoring calls from his wife."

Bess Hamiti

10. "If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it."

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11. "If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything."

Orlando Story Club

12. "Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield."

Deliberate Careers

13. "Everyone seems normal, until you get to know them."

Alex Watts

14. "The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket."

Mike Schmid


15. "A closed mouth gathers no foot."


16. "Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together."

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17. "Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving."


18. "Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it."

Psychology Today

19. "Never miss a good chance to keep quiet."

Tyna Bryan

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.


Be sure to SHARE these funny thoughts with your friends.

H/T: Expanded Consciousness

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