Dying's no laughing matter, you say? The owners of our headstones would beg to differ. The dying part may not have many laughs involved, but once you're dead, you're free to have the last laugh.
Yet, there's only one way for a dead person to tell a joke and do so without scaring the life out of the recipient, and that's to have it written on their headstone.
We think these 25 people must have given some great thought to their final words because they're absolutely hilarious. We definitely have our pick for funniest on the list, but why don't you read through and find your favorite!
1. Frustrated Ambition
We think there's something nice about the simplicity of a funeral plot, but we sure can understand the need to shoot a little higher, too.
2. Forthright In Failure
This is both funny and somehow incredibly sad at the same time. Poor Pancrazio Juvenales; what a way to be immortalized. In a hundred years time, that's all people will know of him.
3. Fair Enough
Find a Grave
We think that trying again at another time will yield the same result. We're also going to say that if it doesn't yield the same results, it's probably time to run.
4. The Eternal Optimist
That wasn't Paul, was it? Paul was clearly the eternal pessimist. He's certainly going to be remembered that way for eternity now because of this.
5. The Cowboy Cremation
Robert's final words make us hope that there's no afterlife or if there is an afterlife, we hope that Robert's not in ours. He scares us.
6. Pardon? Please Explain
We're sorry that "Buzz" has passed over to the other side, because we'd love to know what on earth he meant by this.
7. She Did Everything Right, Too
Find a Grave
Poor Ellen Shannon, whose purchase of non-explosive burning fluid turned out to be one made very much in error. It could have happened to any of us.
8. Low Opinion
You'd have to have a very low opinion of yourself to make these your last words. Maybe when he wrote them, he meant the opposite but didn't have time to fix it?
9. Seeing The Future
Even a stopped watch tells the right time twice a day, right? So good on George W. JR for finally getting a prediction perfectly on target.
10. Political Pushing Up Daisies
Bill Kugle was obviously a very passionate Democrat in life and in death. This seems like carrying a point a little too far to us.
11. Bugs Bunny Bye-Bye
Mel Blanc was the voice over artist for Bugs Bunny and many other comic characters, which is what makes this both sweet and charmingly funny.
12. The Final Escape
Jokes abound on headstones, but comic threats? Not so much. This guy is clearly very grateful for some eternal sleep and would prefer it go undisturbed.
13. The Last Word
We're pretty certain that card companies have to leave you alone in death. We're also pretty certain that they'd be lobbying to change that if they thought that chasing the dead would work.
14. Cut To Commercials
The Merv Griffin show aired from 1962-1986, and Merv would cut to commercials by saying "We'll be right back after this message." Sadly, this is one break he won't return from.
15. That Makes Sense
Esther obviously wasn't entirely happy with the way things were going. Her last words are "I'd rather be reading this" and we get that.
16. He Still Gets No Respect
Actor Rodney Dangerfield is a comedic legend in his own right, and was one of the funniest comedians of his time.
17. Watch Out!
This is an old classic as far as fun epitaphs go.
18. We All Have Flaws
Hey now, I'm a writer too...
19. Don't Call Him Shirley
Actor Leslie Nielsen was the comedic genius behind The Naked Gun series, as well as one of the funniest parts of the all-time classic, Airplane!
20. Hate To Say I Told You So
He really did try to warn you though...
21. Bad Deal
Definitely not one of his best deals. Totally got stiffed.
22. No Afterlife For You
You Can Be Funny
I don't know about you guys but I'd personally like to be cremated and have my ashes turned into a diamond when I die.
23. Say My Name
It's like a line from a cheesy love song.
24. Role Of A Lifetime
Jack Lemmon was a renowned actor, with a great sense of humor to boot. Here he is in his final role - Jack Lemmon in: "The Ground."
25. Glass Half Full
At least he's staying positive about it. It's important to keep an optimistic attitude.
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