The Funniest Tweets From Husbands To Their Wives

Marriage is a wonderful institution. It's also full of challenges. How someone meets the challenges of marriage is a real measure of their character.

Each of the men featured in this article chooses to meet those challenges with a healthy dose of humor. That's probably the best way to approach things, too. If you can laugh together in a marriage, you can be sure that happy times are always just around the corner.

So, with that in mind, we bring you 15 hilarious tweets which have been sent from husbands to their wives. Make sure you let us know which was your favorite below!

1. Bringing The Children Into Things


@ArfMeasures brings us this delight:

ME: The kids have ruined their shoes

WIFE: Again? [sighs] just throw them out


Me: Stop crying kids, your mum says you have to leave

2. That's Her Turn

Matthew Powers

@GrantTanaka's keeping the peace:

Wife: It's like every man on earth has to share one brain

Me: [can't think of a good comeback because it's not my turn to use the brain]

3. Silence Is Golden

Lake View Crew

@iwearaonesie enjoys meal times with the family:


son: Can I have my toy back?

wife: Not right now, it's keeping him quiet

me: - playing with dinosaur -

4. Caught Out


@TheCatWhisperer goes with this gem:

Wife: you forgot to run the dishwasher again, didn't you?

Me: [drinking milk from a flower vase] no, why?


5. Bathroom Antics

Wavy Girl Hairstyles

@KelvinMacleod admits to something everyone does at times:

Wife: you didn't use my shampoo again did you?

Me: - shakes my head no but my lustrous hair gives me away -

6. She Knows Him Too Well

TV Tome

@truegritrumble's done this before:

Wife: Don't go into the ball pit with the kids. You always lose you keys.

Me: -already in the ball pit - You're not going to believe this.

7. Probably Not

All The News

@Brampersandon_ may think again later, we hope so:

Friend: do u guys want a boy or a girl

Pregnant Wife: we just hope he or she is healthy

Me (rubbing her belly): I'm actually hoping its a dog

8. The Right Words

Movies Films and Flix

@XplodingUnicorn is a smart charmer focused on his marriage:

Wife: What are you thinking about?

Me: -pauses daydream about zombie ninjas fighting cyborg Nazis from the future- 


9. Dog Days


@KeetPotato is not the money man in his home:

accountant: "you're basically broke"

wife: "he keeps spending money on stupid stuff"

me: "let's ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid"

10. Cunning Ploy


@dafloydsta has a clever way to break big news:

Me: I have good news & bad news

Wife: Bad news first

M: The penguin pooped in the tub

W: We don't own a-

M: -smiling- And now the good news


11. Bad Call


We think @ArfMeasures might have tried a different excuse:


Wife: Where the hell are u?

Me: Well... u know that shop where u saw that ring you love?


M: I'm catching Pokemon near there

12. Just Clowning, Dog


@ericshadow's driving his wife crazy with this:

Therapist: what's the problem?

Wife: he replaces words with animal names just to annoy me

Me: I don't do it on porpoise

13. May The Fourth Be With Them


We can see how @AndyAsAdjective might annoy: 

therapist: so why do you want to end your marriage?

wife: I hate the constant star wars puns

husband: divorce is strong with this one

14. Psychic Spouse

Yard Card Surprise

@mynameisntdave's wife probably needs a lot of patience: 

Me: honey, it's really muggy out today

Wife: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u]

Me: -sips coffee from bowl-

15. Got Milk?


@LeBearGirdle may want to stay in the store after this:

Wife: can you pick up milk?

Me: [lifts gallon] yea it's easy

Wife: I mean from the store

Me: I would imagine it weighs the same there too

These husbands are very funny, and even if they do skate on marital thin ice occasionally, we bet their wives are very happy.

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