Unless you've been living under a rock for a few months, you may have noticed that people seem to be disagreeing a lot lately. Now, here at Wimp, we like to maintain neutrality and stay away from such discussions - there's enough of them out there and we'd rather entertain and educate you.
But, the prevalence of these disagreements has prompted us to look into the art of having a debate without it turning into a fight. We like to think of these techniques as "psychological aikido" - after the martial arts discipline that focuses on winning without actually fighting by using your opponent's momentum against them.
- The biggest key is balance before aggression. Give in a little to soften the resistance.
- When you start to fight, you inevitably become what you're fighting against.
- In order to lead, you must first learn to be led.
- When someone is shouting at you, their conscience is turned off. Attempting to reason with them before they cool off is like attempting to speak to a person who is asleep - you won't make much progress. Let cooler heads prevail before continuing.
- Shouting back at someone is not just stooping to their level, it's like beating a drowning person with a paddle. Their rage already has them sinking, don't make it worse.
- How do we react when we're upset? Often, it's by accusing, screaming, and/or crying. If someone is doing that to you, it's likely because of something else that they're upset about.
- To stop someone from screaming at you, the key is patience. Stay quiet and let them simmer down. Their words at that point are just their pain crying out, so pay them little mind. Be the cool water to your opponent's fire. Let them cool off and you'll be surprised by the outcome.
Is it hard to stay quiet even though you know you have a great point? Of course it is! In the long run, however, it's more than worth it. Master the art of psychological aikido and you will preserve the health and sanity all your loved ones as well as yourself.
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H/T: Bright Side