It's not nice when people say mean things about other people when those people are minding their own business. In fact, in many places around the world, not only is it "not nice" but it's straight-up illegal, too.
However, there are people out there who have a masochistic streak in them and they enjoy a witty remark even when it's aimed straight at them. These people are those people.
They asked the folks of Reddit to roast them based on their looks and what they had to say was mean, but very, very funny. Don't forget... they asked for it!
1. Relegated To Life's B Movies
"Repeat after me: semen is not hair gel." And...
"You look like you could play Garth in a straight to DVD Threequel of Waynes World."
2. Even Grandmothers Aren't Immune From The Burn
"Grandma looks like she just sobered up from a Quaalude trip she took in the 80s."
"You can smell the thick musty Florida air in this picture. It's like cigarettes and hope that the grandkids will call today, but they never do."
3. No Surprises Here, Being Large Does Not Help
"Is that the same shirt you wear into the swimming pools?"
"I didn't know that KFC had chromosome flavored gravy."
"Please put that kid in an Eric Cartman outfit."
4. Don't Confess Your Religion As Part Of Your Roast Request
"The pope saw this pic and immediately said it's cool for Catholics to wear condoms."
"The thousand yard stare and arched back make me think you've been altar boyed a few times. Poor priest."
5. If You Look Tired, Reddit's Going To Get You
"Your eyes must love to travel, they always got their bags packed!"
"You look like the kind of girl that still thinks My Chemical Romance is a good band."
6. It May Be Best Just To Smile In Your Photos
"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE STEAL CHRISTMAS!"
"I wouldn't say I surf the internet. I browse."
"If you shaved your head, you'd be indistinguishable from a 12-year old boy."
7. Would-Be Rappers Need Not Expect An Easy Time
"You look like you are the most popular home-schooled kid in your school."
"He's homeschooled and still gets bullied."
"Your face made me more pro choice."
8. If You Have A Substance Abuse Look, People Will Pick Up On It
"You look like your mom let you try your first beer through an umbilical cord."
"You look like your pacifier was made of asbestos."
"Your memory gap is longer than the one between your teeth."
9. No, Being Pretty Is Not A Defense, Barbie
"Calls herself barbie because nobody over the age of 9 thinks her life is valuable."
"Dime on a dollar her uncle calls himself Ken."
10. If You Work For Comcast, Expect The Worst
"You've got a perfect face for a call center."
"Next time try henna on your massive eyebrows instead of orange hi-liter."
"I can't tell what's worse, your self-esteem or your customer service."
11. Even Keeping Things Plain Won't Make It Better
"That's nice of the psyche ward to let you use your phone a bit."
"There's nothing I can really point to as hideous, or even noteworthy. You're just there. You're rice pudding, and you don't even have any raisins."
12. If There's Nothing Wrong With You, The Background May Help
"Shit I'd have that much wine in my house too if you were my daughter."
"Does the carpet match the rest of your shitty house?"
13. Unfortunate Dental Problems Offer Many Laughs
"It looks like his tongue is in jail."
"It's gotta be hard to have your mouth designed by MC Escher.
"Can't tell if you need an orthodontist or a civil engineer."
14. They Are Unafraid To Use Stereotypes For Giggles
"Top 0.5% of students but will never be on top of a woman :/"
"If I had a dollar for every joke about you not getting laid, I'd have... Well, I'll let you do the math."
15. Try Not To Look Too "Ghetto," Darlings
"You look like rich girls trying to be homeless."
"Even Thelma and Louise could afford a car."
"No matter how much you pluck those eyebrows, you'll never pluck anyone's heartstrings."
As we said at the start, these people asked for these comments and that's what makes them funny rather than cruel. We hope you enjoyed them and that no one roasts you today.
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