Categories: Funny
Tags: askreddit, family, funny, kids, regrets

I think it’s safe to say that we all have regrets about things we did as a kid. I certainly could have been nicer to some of my classmates. I could also probably have been a bit kinder to my younger brother.

We may not realize at the time that we’re being little jerks. In fact, it may take years for us to realize that we’re truly regretful.

These 13 adults reveal the worst thing they did when they were a kid.

13. Don’t play with fire

Me and my friends were going through our ‘firestarter’ phase. This came to an abrupt and sobering end when, whilst out on a bike ride, my friend produced some stuff to burn. We used to use deodorant as a fuel, sprayed liberally onto scrap paper.

Anyway we were riding our bikes along a farm track near to where we live & my friend said to pull over. We looked around and finding nobody in sight nor no sound of anyone approaching produced the things to burn. The fire got way out of hand and quickly spread to a large, very dry and dead, bush. The flames were incredible.

We heard some people coming and panicked and rode off as fast as possible, both petrified of what had just happened. I didn’t sleep for days. The next weekend we summoned up the courage to ride back up there and the devastation we had caused was horrible. A good portion of the unused field was burnt to a crisp, we were only lucky that the only casualties were dry plants and grass.

That was the last time we ever played with fire.

12. Two lessons

Worst or dumbest? Cause I think mine’s a combo of both.

Stole mail when I was 8. Started with a Nintendo Power magazine, after that I figured all mail could be that cool. My friend Charles & I would just snag a bunch of random mail on the way home, open it looking for something cool then move on.

One day we found a check for $160 and thought we hit it rich. We walked for about a half hour to the bank to cash it. My friend Charles said, “Go cash it, I’ll be over here” and went to a kids table in the lobby.

I walk up to the teller and say “My parents told me to cash this…” and handed her the “check.”

She looks at the “check.”

She looks back at me.

And then back at the “check” and says “…this is a water bill from the city.”

I said the first thing that came to my head which was, “Well, I don’t know about that, but my parents told me to cash it.”

She called her supervisor and showed him and he just looked at me with this “WTF is wrong with you?” face and handed it back to me saying they cant cash a bill.

Charles & I head out, back to his house, defeated. I thought “Wow, this day can’t get any worse…” aaaaand then the cop car rolled up slowly.

We ended up getting put in the back of the cop car. I lived right down the way from where we got picked up, so I was brought home first. The way my dad told it, my step mom told him a cop was out front, when they saw me run full speed towards the door, after the cop let me out, trying to explain my side of the story before the cop could say anything.

It didn’t work.

Worst part was, it was my neighbor’s water bill. After participating in a summer of complete lockdown by my dad (like with a regimented routine of shit to do every day) he took me to the neighbors to apologize. The wife was really sweet saying “Ohhh it’s ok! We all make mistakes.” but the husband was a real hard ass about it, basically lecturing me about the whys and hows of slippery slopes and all that… I was terrified to walk by their house from that moment on.

HOWEVER, apparently they both really weren’t upset, but my dad came over and asked them to really lay into me about it. I found this out years later and cant help but laugh about it because after that I realized why it seemed so forced.

2 lessons I learned from this though were

Don’t steal mail.

If you do steal mail, then try to cash a water bill, don’t be black. Cause I got off with a warning and my friend Charles got 50 hours community service… at age 8.

11. Small-time thief

I shoplifted about $100 worth of stuff from a hardware store. I was maybe 4 or 5 and had zero concept of money and/or that you had to pay for stuff.

My bike had gotten a flat tire, and the store was just on the next street over. I went over and got a tire, and grabbed some other stuff I liked as well; including a big inflatable dinosaur, and some “tools” that I thought I needed. Just walked right out the door, store owner’s back was turned.

Got home and my dad was like “where the fuck did you get all that?” I told him and he laughed, marched me right back over to the store to return it all, but I threw a tantrum to keep that goddamn dinosaur.

10. Not heroic

I tried to be like Spider-Man by hanging on our radiator and ripped it off the wall, ruining the carpet and costing around 1.5k

9. A bully gets his due

There was a bully in our class who nobody liked. One time he took me as a target for his fun. Back then I had that “Eye for an eye” logic but I usually gave back with some extra.

I was constantly on the lookout for his phone. After I got his password for it I stole it ( which was pretty easy since I got to spend PE classes at the gym while others were playing outside because I had pretty bad asthma ) and sent some disgusting things to people that were from the same school. Thanks to his bad reputation everyone was furious but they didn’t doubt it was from him. There were lots of talks with teachers and principal but it was the end of the semester. He changed schools since he wasn’t in the same school after the holidays. Haven’t told anyone until now and I did feel bad back then but many classmates often said that it was so much fun when he wasn’t there anymore so I started to justify it for myself.

8. Turning on a friend is cold

In elementary school I had a friend named Akshit, (pronounced Ahk-sheet) and we were essentially best friends.

Then the “cool kids” started making fun of him by calling him “Ahk-shit” and I decided to join along because I wanted to be part of the cool kids. Akshit transferred schools shortly after.

One of the biggest regrets of my life…

7. Invisible sibling

In the start of 3rd grade, they had asked us if we had siblings in class. Over 80% of the class had a sibling. Me, being an only child decided to screw it and say that I have a sibling studying in the same school. I even made up a fake name for him and later I was told that I had forgotten to get it entered in the records. Alas, it was entered. Hell, I got through the whole year by keeping up the lie. (Even managed Parent teacher Meeting when my teacher asked where is “fake name”? and I replied “Outside”) My parents have no Idea what I did. Luckily, I shifted school after 3rd grade.

6. Well, that’s uncharitable

Our school was doing a charity event and we had to go ask people if they wanted to sponsor that event. Me and my friend spent a whole weekend going from house to house collecting money ( we nearly had €200) and instead of giving it to the teachers we said that we didn’t collect any and just kept it for ourselves.

5. It pays to be the quiet kid

My back garden leads into a school field, the school I went to at the time. Me and a friend were hitting some golf balls around one weekend and accidentally drove one through one of the school windows (the front of the school is essentially all windows) so instead of leaving we, for some reason, decided that since we had done one we may as well do some more. I can’t remember who convinced who it was a good idea. It ended up being 23 windows, and because I was such a quiet kid the school believed our story that some older guys had come into the field and done it. Never got caught. This was around 14 or 15 years ago now, I forget how much of a little twat I used to be sometimes.

Edit: oh and we also managed to get a computer monitor through one of the windows

4. Well done

I tried to “help” Dad cook steaks on the gas grill by turning up the heat on max while he was inside on the phone. (I wanted them to be done and ready to serve when he finished on the phone.)

But I got distracted when a friend stopped by and left the grill unattended. When Dad returned, flames were shooting out of the grill – the steaks were incinerated.

3. I bet those were awesome vacation photos

Ok, here I go… We went for a holiday to Croatia with my parents. I was about 8 years old, and there was something like ‘day-care’ – parents could drop their kids there for 4 hours a day and there would be various activities to keep us entertained.

One day we played mini golf. It was my turn, I got ready… And was gonna hit the ball. I missed it completely and smacked a girl standing nearby right in the eye. She wasn’t crying, so I thought it wasn’t that bad, but still apologised profusely.

Next day she came with this massive black eye. They must have fun looking at the holiday photos. I still feel bad about it.

2. A short criminal career

I stole a toy train from my Aunt’s house with the intention of returning it next time we visited. A few weeks later I broke it. That evening I had a fit of conscience and insisted my parents call so I could tearfully confess my terrible crime (it was 11 pm in the evening). After laughing hysterically my Aunt told me she did kind of remember there being a toy train in the box of toys she gave me to play with and that I could have kept it anyway if I’d asked, so I was forgiven. That was the end of my criminal career, aged about 9 years old.

1. Ewww

Convinced my youngest brother to pee down a slide, then pushed him down it. I still feel terrible about it 20+ years later.