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Mom Responds To Accusations Of Spoiling Her Baby

May 3, 2016

Were you spoiled as a child? Most of us have that one aunt or grandma who treats us extra special and tends to go a little overboard on holidays. We usually love and admire these relatives, but, when parents spoil their own kids, it's usually looked down upon. Most people think spoiling your child isn't good parenting because it will never let them grow up or figure life out for themselves. 

Kelly Dirkes has always heard people complain that she spoils her kids. Usually, she takes it in stride and doesn't let it affect her. But, after a recent incident in Target, she knew it was time to speak up. Kelly admits that she does spoil her baby - but she has a heartbreaking reason why. After her note was published on Facebook, it went viral and touched the lives of parents who found themselves in similar circumstances. 

Scroll down to read what Kelly wrote and why you should never judge another parent without knowing the full story. 

“Dear Woman in Target-

I’ve heard it before, you know. That I “spoil that baby.” You were convinced that she’d never learn to be “independent.” I smiled at you, kissed her head, and continued my shopping.

If you only knew what I know.”

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“If you only knew how she spent the first ten months of her life utterly alone inside a sterile metal crib, with nothing to comfort her other than sucking her fingers.

If you only knew what her face looked like the moment her orphanage caregiver handed her to me to cradle for the very first time–fleeting moments of serenity commingled with sheer terror. No one had ever held her that way before, and she had no idea what she was supposed to do."

"If you only knew that she would lay in her crib after waking and never cry–because up until now, no one would respond.”

“If you only knew that anxiety was a standard part of her day, along with banging her head on her crib rails and rocking herself for sensory input and comfort.

If you only knew that that baby in the carrier is heartbreakingly “independent” – and how we will spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years trying to override the part of her brain that screams “trauma” and “not safe”.

If you only knew what I know.

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If you only knew that that baby now whimpers when she’s put down instead of when she is picked up.

If you only knew that that baby “sings” at the top of her lungs in the mornings and after her nap, because she knows that her chatter will bring someone to lift her out of her crib and change her diaper."

"If you only knew that that baby rocks to sleep in her Mama’s or her Papa’s arms instead of rocking herself.

If you only knew that that baby made everyone cry the day she reached out for comfort, totally unprompted.

If you only knew what I know.” 

Be sure to SHARE this incredible note with your friends and family. 

H/T: Aunty Acid | Kelly Dirkes

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